[ At the park, you've already started to run ahead to keep tailing Kyon and Yuki. They haven't even so much as held hands yet on their way to where Tsuruya-senpai and Asahina-senpai planned to take them stargazing, and it's starting to get a bit frustrating!
Your unwilling cohort, Suzumiya-san, has already complained about wanting to just see the stars and has trailed behind just a bit, before she speaks up. ]
"By the way, about those two, Ryoko..."
What is it?
"What would make you feel more at ease about them?"
[ The fact that she was able to cut through to your general worry gets you to twitch a bit. A slight reminder that as dense as she seemed sometimes, Suzumiya-san was in fact, annoyingly observant sometimes. ]
"You're telling them to hold hands, so you must not mind them getting together. Yet you don't want them to cross the line. But, I mean, isn't that up to them? I might be especially sensitive to this, but nobody likes other people telling them what to do.
That's why I'm not trying to pick on you. I'm asking you an honest question."
[ You wish it was a question that you had a simple answer for. You hesitate, humming slightly in thought. ]
...Mmm.
If they got together... yeah. I'd be happy.
But... but the more the distance between Nagato-san and Kyon-kun closes... the more it feels like they're moving further away from me. And it's just... I hate it. It's lonely.
I know, I know. I'm not protecting anyone. It's just pure jealousy.
[ Suzumiya-san pauses, staring at the back of your head for a moment before she calls for you. ]
"Ryoko..."
[ She places a hand on your shoulder. ]
"Yeah, that's really dumb!"
[ The look on your face says it all: a combination of shocked, sad, and flustered. ]
You're horrible, Suzumiya-san! You were supposed to say something kind and comforting to me just now!
" I know, but from the outside, it's like, you guys get along so well, what are you even worrying about? It's like worrying about a typhoon when you see a few clouds."
[ The nervousness sets in, as you fidget slightly. ]
Yeah, but... I'm talking about what might happen next. If she starts going out with Kyon-kun, then... I'm sure...
[ She cuts you off, smiling wistfully. ]
"Like I said... whatever happens next, even if you have a fight, your friendship is more than strong enough to handle it. I guarantee it -- and you can't go wrong trusting a Haruhi guarantee."
[ For a moment, your heart skips a beat. Right... considering Suzumiya-san's own feelings, she's being pretty brave and seeming reliable for once. With a huff, you turn your head, face burning red. ]
Hmph! Your guarantee makes me even more nervous.
"Heh heh, I see."
...but... that was a nice thing to say. So, thank you...
[ A gentle smile crosses Suzumiya-san's face. ]
"All I did was make fun of you. You don't need to thank me."
[ You feel nervous, sitting with your eyes fixed completely at the table in front of you, making an effort not to look at the girl sitting across.
The bespectacled purple haired friend of yours in front of you, Nagato Yuki, is doing the exact same thing.
You're not sure what'll be said... what she'll do, whether she'll yell or cry or just gently accept that you're leaving. Will she try to convince you to stay, or push you further out the door?
Your stupor ends at the sound of your name being called. ]
"Asakura-san?"
[ You sit up at attention. ]
Y-Yes?! What is it?
[ Nagato tries to gather her confidence, before speaking again. ]
"If you're gone, I won't be able to see you anymore..."
[ You immediately leap at the chance to relieve that worry of hers. ]
Ah-- there's always vacations, I'll still come back to Japan for those...!
"It's... always been normal for us to be together."
Th-that's true, but I'm going to university, I'm going there to study and learn more...
[ Your friend's expression grows sullen, and her voice gets slightly watery as she speaks. ]
"Asakura-san..."
...Yes?
[ She only slightly raises her head, but it's so clear that she's trying her hardest not to cry. ]
"When we're apart... I'll miss you."
[ Your face grows beet red, and you exclaim. ]
Ah-- I know, right?!
[ Your friend's expression changes to that of surprise-- and you can't hold back your excitement at hearing it. You coax her to stand up, to say it over and over so you can get used to it. Though you're beaming, she has to get herself ready. ]
"I'll miss you!"
Like that!
"I'll miss you!"
Say it more!
"I'll miss you!"
[ She continues to say it, over and over again. You can't help the smile on your face, even as you stop responding momentarily to properly gaze at the girl who's baring her heart out for you.
Finally, you start to move a bit closer. ]
"I'll miss you." Yeah. "I'll miss you." Mm. "I'll miss you."
[ You finally embrace her, tears at the sides of your eyes. ]
"...but you've already made up your mind, haven't you?"
Yeah. So... until that time comes... make sure you keep telling me how much you'll miss me, okay?
[ You arrive at the railway station, worried to death about what you're doing. You'd already gone through a lot to maintain possession of her phone, and now you had to present your findings to him. In your mind, a hundred horrible scenarios play out, leading to Kakyoin Noriaki, the man you've followed for the last year, falling into despair.
But that wouldn't happen, right? As such, this was just... normal anxiety. You just had to tell him what you found. ]
Sorry, I had a few things happen and I wasn't sure what to do about it. I figured I should probably talk to you first.
[ There's clear concern on his face, but he remains calm for the time being. ]
"It's okay, Asakura. I'm right here, so try to relax and just tell me."
[ He has no idea.
The first thing you do is tell him about the encounter you had with another magi. One you and the rest of the other magi had been searching for, waiting for to help you out. She'd already helped you out earlier in the day, with a group of shadowy monsters gathering around you and you, too weak to do anything about it.
Saved again, by a stranger.
You presented what she had told you, and with a final bit of info, he responds with a polite smile. ]
"That's fantastic, Asakura, thank you so much. See, I told you what you were doing was vital."
[ It was what you had hoped to hear, only in better circumstances. You had to help in some way, you couldn't let Kakyoin down, not again. Even though... you know that what comes next was the true test. He asks about the bad news, and you hesitate. It takes a moment, but you finally start talking. ]
Kakyoin-kun-- [ You hesitate again, but try to will yourself through it. You were strong before, you can't stop now. ]
...I found one other thing. I found it near the apartments in Minami-ku. I didn't look too much into it, but... you need to have it. I'm positive about that.
[ His facial expression changed, and he looked as if he were bracing for the worst. He was listening... and your heart pounds out of your chest. You breathe in deeply before you reach into your pocket-- pulling out a phone with a blue panda phone charm dangling off of it. You stare, as if you're reconfirming that it's real and in your grasp, and you hold it out.
Without skipping a beat, he remarks. ]
"That's Sachiko's phone."
[ In a complete statement. While he was forcing himself to sound calm, his gloved hand quivered slightly to take it. ]
"Where did you find Sachiko's phone, Asakura."
[ ...When did he start calling her 'Sachiko'? No, that wasn't important. What was important that he figured it out right away, and you explained everything that led up to that point. Finding the phone near the apartments, getting a phone call that for all rights and purposes, should have been impossible. The person on the other phone was long dead. A thought permeated between the two of you, that this was from the previous year-- when the group of magi had planned to meet you and everyone else in Nyoi-cho, and two wound up dead. The other two... dying the month previous.
You express your belief in Sachiko, and Kakyoin expresses himself, believing your story. He tries to convince himself that she might just be in hiding, trying not to befall the same fate as the others, and you can tell... that he's not doing a good job of it. He had to believe that, that she's hiding from Yamashita.
...Yamashita. That man said that you sounded just like her, when the idea of presenting Kakyoin with the phone came up. You have to set the record straight-- ]
...I just want to know one thing, Kakyoin-kun. I want to know that we can count on you to help us get through this. Whatever comes out of this city, I want to know you'll stil bet here, standing with us.
[ You can see the range of emotions he makes before he takes a slow breath. Would he be angry? This wasn't anything he wanted in the first place. You and the rest of the magi had forced this onto his shoulders. Yet as he removed his glasses to focus on you, you feel your heart beat grow quicker, as if he's going to say something cutting. ]
"[ She ] will never get the Witch that she wants from me. No matter how this ends, that will not change. " [ After recalling his own journey, and how if things fell apart, he'd have others to fall back on for assistance. You included. ] "...I've already lost everything a few times over. I can put myself back together again from one or two more."
[ You want to feel relieved at his determination, but instead you feel shame. Why had you doubted him in the first place? Because someone wanted to make you feel bad about this? To make you think he was that unstable? Worst of all: why would you doubt him, when he believed in you so much? After all, you always ran when things got tough, that you would never be able to stand beside him. Yet, here you were. ]
That's what I wanted to hear. Thank you. [ You look relieved, but you still speak. ] There's a lot that still needs to be done... but we can do this. I know we can. Some of us... just have a lot of growing up to do.
[ Though there was a melancholy feeling in the air, Kakyoin remains resolute. ]
"We've done better with less information, and screwed up with more than we have now. I'll take 'might not completely fail' as far as chances go." [ A brief pause... ] "...I'm going to need you with me, Asakura. For as long as you're able to be."
[ There are always going to be certain things holding you back from truly thinking, you can be a magi. But, that feeling of being needed persisted... and so, you needed to as well. If you couldn't be there for your best friend, you had to be there for Taiga, for Kakyoin, and for any of the other magi that needed you. ]
I'll be here. No matter what, I promise. I'm on your side.
[ Your eyelids feel heavy, but somehow... you're able to slowly force them open. Try as you might, getting your body to move felt impossible. Dried blood causes hair to stick to your face, staining your torn clothing. At the very least, you can feel that you're still breathing.
They won. You try to sit up, but the gash at your stomach hurts too badly and you let out a cry, only to be stopped by a tiny hand, reaching for your own. ]
"N-no, don't... don't move if it hurts. I'm right here..."
[ The tone in your friend's voice is despondent, terrified and worried, yet trying to keep her emotions in check to ensure she was being comforting. The pieces fall into place, and you start to feel your own worries sprouting up. You'd seen three die before you, anyone else... ]
Is... is everyone okay? Are you hurt, Aisa--
[ You're cut off by the sensation coming from the wound on your side, and you hiss in pain. Your friend, yet again, tries to get you to stay still. ]
"S-stop! I-I said don't... don't move, Ryoko..."
[ You can see the tears forming on her face, and the realization starts to dawn on you. You'd done nothing but keep Taiga away from danger, keep her from getting involved in fighting Witches or overly dangerous Nightmares, so that she wouldn't get hurt. Yet here she was, trying to keep strong because you made another stupid mistake. You hadn't deserved to be saved, especially after this fight.
Two magi died in front of you. You couldn't even muster up the will to fight back. You'd punched someone who had come in to gloat in a moment of weakness. This was going to be hell to fix...
...but, that's not important right now. What was important was the girl in front of you, close to tears... the girl who had protected you, through the very worst. ]
You did so much, didn't you... just to keep me safe.
[ Now, you're crying, which runs against the smile on your face. ]
When did you become so strong, Aisaka-san?
[ The instant the words come out of your mouth, Taiga finally breaks. She lets out a sob and lets her tears fall, quivering as she refuses the praise. ]
"N-no... I didn't... I couldn't do a-anything. It... Nothing... I couldn't help you a-at all..."
[ Even though you were crumbling, she stuck it out. As much as you wanted to believe that you could handle all of this on your own... Taiga did keep you going. ]
You don't know how much you do help me. I... don't know where I'd be if you weren't there.
[ Dead. You would have been dead. Taiga tries wiping at her face. It's so clear, even as she says it... ]
"I-I... I thought... it was gonna be too late... I was so scared, Ry-Ryoko..."
It's okay, it's...
[ You pause. No, it really isn't okay. You scared your best friend to death, and even if you'd helped... you did it in a self destructive way. Yet, you were alive. You made it, because of Taiga. You take in a deep breath... and just sigh. ]
...I... really overdid it. Didn't I?
"Y-You... you look like hell."
[ An insult, but it doesn't really matter, right now. You probably do look a lot worse for wear at the moment. ]
"But yeah... you did. You... helped, though. It worked, and everyone else was able to keep fighting."
[ You've done nothing really but worry her for the last two months... you had actually helped the others fight, but you did it at the cost of your best friend's peace of mind. How could you not feel bad about it? ]
Thank goodness... forgive me for that, Aisaka-san... I wanted to be selfish, just this once.
"There's nothing w-wrong with being selfish! I-I'd rather you be selfish than... than...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ryoko asakura
story 1
story 2
Your unwilling cohort, Suzumiya-san, has already complained about wanting to just see the stars and has trailed behind just a bit, before she speaks up. ]
"By the way, about those two, Ryoko..."
What is it?
"What would make you feel more at ease about them?"
[ The fact that she was able to cut through to your general worry gets you to twitch a bit. A slight reminder that as dense as she seemed sometimes, Suzumiya-san was in fact, annoyingly observant sometimes. ]
"You're telling them to hold hands, so you must not mind them getting together. Yet you don't want them to cross the line. But, I mean, isn't that up to them? I might be especially sensitive to this, but nobody likes other people telling them what to do.
That's why I'm not trying to pick on you. I'm asking you an honest question."
[ You wish it was a question that you had a simple answer for. You hesitate, humming slightly in thought. ]
...Mmm.
If they got together... yeah. I'd be happy.
But... but the more the distance between Nagato-san and Kyon-kun closes... the more it feels like they're moving further away from me. And it's just... I hate it. It's lonely.
I know, I know. I'm not protecting anyone. It's just pure jealousy.
[ Suzumiya-san pauses, staring at the back of your head for a moment before she calls for you. ]
"Ryoko..."
[ She places a hand on your shoulder. ]
"Yeah, that's really dumb!"
[ The look on your face says it all: a combination of shocked, sad, and flustered. ]
You're horrible, Suzumiya-san! You were supposed to say something kind and comforting to me just now!
" I know, but from the outside, it's like, you guys get along so well, what are you even worrying about? It's like worrying about a typhoon when you see a few clouds."
[ The nervousness sets in, as you fidget slightly. ]
Yeah, but... I'm talking about what might happen next. If she starts going out with Kyon-kun, then... I'm sure...
[ She cuts you off, smiling wistfully. ]
"Like I said... whatever happens next, even if you have a fight, your friendship is more than strong enough to handle it. I guarantee it -- and you can't go wrong trusting a Haruhi guarantee."
[ For a moment, your heart skips a beat. Right... considering Suzumiya-san's own feelings, she's being pretty brave and seeming reliable for once. With a huff, you turn your head, face burning red. ]
Hmph! Your guarantee makes me even more nervous.
"Heh heh, I see."
...but... that was a nice thing to say. So, thank you...
[ A gentle smile crosses Suzumiya-san's face. ]
"All I did was make fun of you. You don't need to thank me."
Oh, really?
story 3
The bespectacled purple haired friend of yours in front of you, Nagato Yuki, is doing the exact same thing.
You're not sure what'll be said... what she'll do, whether she'll yell or cry or just gently accept that you're leaving. Will she try to convince you to stay, or push you further out the door?
Your stupor ends at the sound of your name being called. ]
"Asakura-san?"
[ You sit up at attention. ]
Y-Yes?! What is it?
[ Nagato tries to gather her confidence, before speaking again. ]
"If you're gone, I won't be able to see you anymore..."
[ You immediately leap at the chance to relieve that worry of hers. ]
Ah-- there's always vacations, I'll still come back to Japan for those...!
"It's... always been normal for us to be together."
Th-that's true, but I'm going to university, I'm going there to study and learn more...
[ Your friend's expression grows sullen, and her voice gets slightly watery as she speaks. ]
"Asakura-san..."
...Yes?
[ She only slightly raises her head, but it's so clear that she's trying her hardest not to cry. ]
"When we're apart... I'll miss you."
[ Your face grows beet red, and you exclaim. ]
Ah-- I know, right?!
[ Your friend's expression changes to that of surprise-- and you can't hold back your excitement at hearing it. You coax her to stand up, to say it over and over so you can get used to it. Though you're beaming, she has to get herself ready. ]
"I'll miss you!"
Like that!
"I'll miss you!"
Say it more!
"I'll miss you!"
[ She continues to say it, over and over again. You can't help the smile on your face, even as you stop responding momentarily to properly gaze at the girl who's baring her heart out for you.
Finally, you start to move a bit closer. ]
"I'll miss you." Yeah. "I'll miss you." Mm. "I'll miss you."
[ You finally embrace her, tears at the sides of your eyes. ]
"...but you've already made up your mind, haven't you?"
Yeah. So... until that time comes... make sure you keep telling me how much you'll miss me, okay?
"...yeah."
story 4
But that wouldn't happen, right? As such, this was just... normal anxiety. You just had to tell him what you found. ]
Sorry, I had a few things happen and I wasn't sure what to do about it. I figured I should probably talk to you first.
[ There's clear concern on his face, but he remains calm for the time being. ]
"It's okay, Asakura. I'm right here, so try to relax and just tell me."
[ He has no idea.
The first thing you do is tell him about the encounter you had with another magi. One you and the rest of the other magi had been searching for, waiting for to help you out. She'd already helped you out earlier in the day, with a group of shadowy monsters gathering around you and you, too weak to do anything about it.
Saved again, by a stranger.
You presented what she had told you, and with a final bit of info, he responds with a polite smile. ]
"That's fantastic, Asakura, thank you so much. See, I told you what you were doing was vital."
[ It was what you had hoped to hear, only in better circumstances. You had to help in some way, you couldn't let Kakyoin down, not again. Even though... you know that what comes next was the true test. He asks about the bad news, and you hesitate. It takes a moment, but you finally start talking. ]
Kakyoin-kun-- [ You hesitate again, but try to will yourself through it. You were strong before, you can't stop now. ]
...I found one other thing. I found it near the apartments in Minami-ku. I didn't look too much into it, but... you need to have it. I'm positive about that.
[ His facial expression changed, and he looked as if he were bracing for the worst. He was listening... and your heart pounds out of your chest. You breathe in deeply before you reach into your pocket-- pulling out a phone with a blue panda phone charm dangling off of it. You stare, as if you're reconfirming that it's real and in your grasp, and you hold it out.
Without skipping a beat, he remarks. ]
"That's Sachiko's phone."
[ In a complete statement. While he was forcing himself to sound calm, his gloved hand quivered slightly to take it. ]
"Where did you find Sachiko's phone, Asakura."
[ ...When did he start calling her 'Sachiko'? No, that wasn't important. What was important that he figured it out right away, and you explained everything that led up to that point. Finding the phone near the apartments, getting a phone call that for all rights and purposes, should have been impossible. The person on the other phone was long dead. A thought permeated between the two of you, that this was from the previous year-- when the group of magi had planned to meet you and everyone else in Nyoi-cho, and two wound up dead. The other two... dying the month previous.
You express your belief in Sachiko, and Kakyoin expresses himself, believing your story. He tries to convince himself that she might just be in hiding, trying not to befall the same fate as the others, and you can tell... that he's not doing a good job of it. He had to believe that, that she's hiding from Yamashita.
...Yamashita. That man said that you sounded just like her, when the idea of presenting Kakyoin with the phone came up. You have to set the record straight-- ]
...I just want to know one thing, Kakyoin-kun. I want to know that we can count on you to help us get through this. Whatever comes out of this city, I want to know you'll stil bet here, standing with us.
[ You can see the range of emotions he makes before he takes a slow breath. Would he be angry? This wasn't anything he wanted in the first place. You and the rest of the magi had forced this onto his shoulders. Yet as he removed his glasses to focus on you, you feel your heart beat grow quicker, as if he's going to say something cutting. ]
"[ She ] will never get the Witch that she wants from me. No matter how this ends, that will not change. " [ After recalling his own journey, and how if things fell apart, he'd have others to fall back on for assistance. You included. ] "...I've already lost everything a few times over. I can put myself back together again from one or two more."
[ You want to feel relieved at his determination, but instead you feel shame. Why had you doubted him in the first place? Because someone wanted to make you feel bad about this? To make you think he was that unstable? Worst of all: why would you doubt him, when he believed in you so much? After all, you always ran when things got tough, that you would never be able to stand beside him. Yet, here you were. ]
That's what I wanted to hear. Thank you. [ You look relieved, but you still speak. ] There's a lot that still needs to be done... but we can do this. I know we can. Some of us... just have a lot of growing up to do.
[ Though there was a melancholy feeling in the air, Kakyoin remains resolute. ]
"We've done better with less information, and screwed up with more than we have now. I'll take 'might not completely fail' as far as chances go." [ A brief pause... ] "...I'm going to need you with me, Asakura. For as long as you're able to be."
[ There are always going to be certain things holding you back from truly thinking, you can be a magi. But, that feeling of being needed persisted... and so, you needed to as well. If you couldn't be there for your best friend, you had to be there for Taiga, for Kakyoin, and for any of the other magi that needed you. ]
I'll be here. No matter what, I promise. I'm on your side.
story 5
They won. You try to sit up, but the gash at your stomach hurts too badly and you let out a cry, only to be stopped by a tiny hand, reaching for your own. ]
"N-no, don't... don't move if it hurts. I'm right here..."
[ The tone in your friend's voice is despondent, terrified and worried, yet trying to keep her emotions in check to ensure she was being comforting. The pieces fall into place, and you start to feel your own worries sprouting up. You'd seen three die before you, anyone else... ]
Is... is everyone okay? Are you hurt, Aisa--
[ You're cut off by the sensation coming from the wound on your side, and you hiss in pain. Your friend, yet again, tries to get you to stay still. ]
"S-stop! I-I said don't... don't move, Ryoko..."
[ You can see the tears forming on her face, and the realization starts to dawn on you. You'd done nothing but keep Taiga away from danger, keep her from getting involved in fighting Witches or overly dangerous Nightmares, so that she wouldn't get hurt. Yet here she was, trying to keep strong because you made another stupid mistake. You hadn't deserved to be saved, especially after this fight.
Two magi died in front of you. You couldn't even muster up the will to fight back. You'd punched someone who had come in to gloat in a moment of weakness. This was going to be hell to fix...
...but, that's not important right now. What was important was the girl in front of you, close to tears... the girl who had protected you, through the very worst. ]
You did so much, didn't you... just to keep me safe.
[ Now, you're crying, which runs against the smile on your face. ]
When did you become so strong, Aisaka-san?
[ The instant the words come out of your mouth, Taiga finally breaks. She lets out a sob and lets her tears fall, quivering as she refuses the praise. ]
"N-no... I didn't... I couldn't do a-anything. It... Nothing... I couldn't help you a-at all..."
[ Even though you were crumbling, she stuck it out. As much as you wanted to believe that you could handle all of this on your own... Taiga did keep you going. ]
You don't know how much you do help me. I... don't know where I'd be if you weren't there.
[ Dead. You would have been dead. Taiga tries wiping at her face. It's so clear, even as she says it... ]
"I-I... I thought... it was gonna be too late... I was so scared, Ry-Ryoko..."
It's okay, it's...
[ You pause. No, it really isn't okay. You scared your best friend to death, and even if you'd helped... you did it in a self destructive way. Yet, you were alive. You made it, because of Taiga. You take in a deep breath... and just sigh. ]
...I... really overdid it. Didn't I?
"Y-You... you look like hell."
[ An insult, but it doesn't really matter, right now. You probably do look a lot worse for wear at the moment. ]
"But yeah... you did. You... helped, though. It worked, and everyone else was able to keep fighting."
[ You've done nothing really but worry her for the last two months... you had actually helped the others fight, but you did it at the cost of your best friend's peace of mind. How could you not feel bad about it? ]
Thank goodness... forgive me for that, Aisaka-san... I wanted to be selfish, just this once.
"There's nothing w-wrong with being selfish! I-I'd rather you be selfish than... than...
[ Taiga can't finish the sentence. ]
"You're alive, that's... what really matters."